A summer sizzler to win over the wife

“World Cup qualifiers? In June, for goodness sake?”

That was the more polite version of Mrs B's exclamation of dismay at the news the football season is far from over when I broke it to her.

She's not spoken to me since. She says she's fed up with football, so I've done a deal with her.

I've told her I won't be watching every component of my life-changing six-timer that will have hopefully copped by the time the cock crows on Saturday morning.

She's not getting home from work until 6.30, so that means Armenia will have beaten Malta by the time I realise that I've forgotten to put her tea on.

She might let me get away with watching Croatia v Scotland, especially if I tell her that the rumours are not true that the Tartan Army have already lost their chance of dancing on Copacabana beach next summer.

I don't care if Luka Modric is suspended. I'm all over the Croats.

The best game of the night is probably Portugal's game against Russia and I fancy it being a tight encounter. The draw is a massive price.

And by the time I get to watching the later stages of the first half between Argentina and Colombia, I fancy she will have had enough of the stories in this week's Take A Break and will have turned herself in.

The home side will win that one and then I will have to leave Paraguay and Peru to do the respective business against Chile and Ecuador. She's got loads of jobs set up for me on Saturday morning and I can't be staying up until 5am.

After all, it's supposed to be the summer.