Hopefully Spain won't win by a ice-hockey score

IF you are the sort of person who happily laughs at the sight of an old lady tripping up at the high street or slows down on motorways to check out the gory crash on the other side of the road then the Beeb is showing something for you on Thursday: Spain versus Tahiti.

This is going to be horrible and more miserable than an episode of Eastenders.

I may seem like a heartless, grumpy old sod at times (okay all the time) but I genuinely don’t want to witness a sporting massacre.

Tahiti played with spirit against Nigeria and still lost 6-1 in their opening game when we got to see that lovely canoe celebration but now the minnows will be sunk by Spain and combining bets from 10-0 up to 15-0 is the only way to ease the pain of what we are about to witness.

Or if you want to keep it simple just back Spain to reach double figures.

I just hope the Tahitians get a kick during open play and there first task is avoid suffering the worst result in the history of international football which currently stands at 31-0 to Australia against American Samoa.

If Spain really wanted to I think they could beat that margin.

No doubt that was a bad day at the office for American Samoa but not as bad as Bulgaria’s women’s ice hockey team who were stuffed 82-0 by Slovakia in 2007.

Bizarrely, that’s not even a word-record score for a women’s match on the ice. Oh no, Thailand’s Under-18s once lost a match 92-0 against South Korea.

Not even Tahiti can be battered by that many can they?