Rooney record would ruin all we hold dear

BOBBY CHARLTON is one of the worthier knights of the realm – but I’ve got to pick him up on a sizeable issue.

The FA have asked him to be at Wembley to present Wayne Rooney with his 100th cap and even though the young United whippersnapper is only a few goals away from beating Sir Bobby’s international scoring record, he says he’ll be the proudest man alive.

In fact, he said he reckons Rooney can not only reach 50 goals but go on to get another 50, too, and set a record that will last all of our lifetimes.

Pah. Sorry Lord Roberto, you may be proud but I’ll be well cheesed off. Like the date of the Battle of Hastings, the order of Henry VIII’s wives and the running order of Live Aid, there are certain things that we all know and they can never change. Bobby Charlton, 49 goals, one clear of Gary Lineker. Greavesie on 44. Its like the Lord’s Prayer. Everyone knows it.

Over in Ireland they’re banging on about Robbie Keane being 12 goals behind Pele, I ask you. Robbie and Pele in the same breath.

Keano has now notched 65 goals due in part to his brilliant goalscorer’s instinct, longevity and the fact that among the many muppet defences which have lined up in front of him have included Malta, the Faroes, Andorra and Gibraltar. But it beggars belief that one day Robbie Keane will be higher in the international goalscoring charts than the mighty Pele.

He’s still got Gibraltar away to come yet, but first things first, it’s Scotland at Celtic Park and for once this is a fixture where opposition strikers aren’t guaranteed to fill their boots.

I can see Scotland’s braves slapping the brakes on Keane and on a night of high intensity but low skill, I’m going to go no goalscorer. Pele can breathe easier again.