Long-ball Louis could play into Burnley's hands

DEAR oh dear, Louis van Gaal. You have gone down in my estimation.

I mean, you’re not the first manager who has somehow decided that Marouane Fellaini can in any way be described as a “footballer” in the conventional sense of the word. So I can’t blame you for that one.

Nor, therefore, should I be surprised that you may at some point or other decide that Fellaini should be deployed on a football pitch. So I can’t really blame you for bringing him on at Upton Park. Needs must and all that, and your need clearly was for someone very tall and ungainly with a ridiculous haircut to go out there and do something different.

Obviously what you never intended was for Fellaini to be used as a long-ball target. Heaven forbid, no. After all, he’s what, 6ft 4 or something, absolutely useless on the deck but a towering threat in the air, but no, he was never going to play the chimney-pot role, was he?

Sorry Louis, you can produce as many spread sheets as you like, but the last feller who misguidedly waved a piece of A4 in the air proclaiming the truth was Chamberlain. And no one believed him, either.

If Fellaini plays any part against Burnley it means you’re going long and high, and that’ll be playing into the Clarets’ hands.

I’m a layer of both Manchester clubs. Burnley are obstinate enough to be a handful for anyone and United aren’t playing well enough to be considered good things at 3-10 while Stoke are going well and can stop City at the Britannia.