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It's hard to conceive of anything but Cherries joy

I'VE never been especially keen on the idea of Bournemouth reaching the Premier League, or the Promised Land, as we must call it at this stage of the season.

It's nothing personal against the Cherries, it's just that I'd rather not be reminded about that part of the world.

I was conceived in Bournemouth, you see. I could have made it through my life happily without that information, but my parents seemed to think it was a perfectly normal thing to tell me.

So I've been happy to see the Cherries flying under the radar in the lower leagues, but if they end up in the top flight I'm going to be more frequently exposed to the thought of my mum and dad frolicking in a B&B on the south coast.

There's sunburn, sand, probably quite a bit of Babycham. It's not an image I'm especially fond of.

The one positive is that Eddie Howe's side have been so easy on the eye that whenever I watch them that my mind is easily distracted.

I expect them to overwhelm Bolton and effectively seal their promotion, but the skinny match prices mean I'll be backing Callum Wilson to score first instead.

I wonder if, 20 years from now, my first-born will be hoping that our local Red Lion XI aren't promoted to the Premier League.

I'd better keep my mouth shut.

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