Dundee have edge in derby dust-up

"THEY don't come much bigger than a Dundee derby live on TV," says Dundee United coach Simon Donnelly and having never been to Dens Park - or indeed Tannadice - to witness one of their dust-ups, I couldn't possibly comment.

I might suggest that one or two games do actually come a wee bit bigger than a Dundee derby - Barcelona-Real Madrid, for example, Celtic v Rangers, Arsenal-Tottenham, Ramsgate-Margate - but I can quite understand the good folk of Tayside getting their tartan knickers in a twist over this week's renewal.

So given I'm not awash with info on either side but I'm crying out for a bet - and 1-16 Barcelona isn't getting my juices flowing - I need some insights from those involved.

So come on Paul Hartley, manager of Dundee FC, tell me something that will put me one step ahead of the old enemy. That's the bookies, not United.

"We're trying to look at getting as many points before the split," he told the BBC. "We need to win some games."

Hmm. Now don't call me ungrateful, but there's not a lot there to go to war with so I may as well do my own research, apply my own science, use all available tools at my disposal to realise a cast-iron certainty that will make me fortunes.

So it's heads Dundee, tails the other lot.

Only joking. What I do know is that Dundee United haven't won in nine, Dundee's recent form is a little bit better, so I'll get on the hosts. Especially as they're trying to look at getting as many points as they can.